Being Yourself

From a previous blog of mine
Going in the right path, when all around yourself are free to do whatever the hell they want to do, is a bit difficult but not impossible. We know we have to keep pace with this world but it does not mean that we are supposed to change the values that we have. If we are convinced of our values, they should be given the first preference while deciding on the factor of changing oneself to suit the world.

Changing without losing your own distinct identity is the key to a successful change. Keeping pace with the world, while folowing our own ideals is an art. One of the first things in this direction is to be positively assertive. Don't take anyone's opinion or remark too seriously. Secondly, identify, upto a certain extent, what your core values are. Is honesty a part of your character or you are a person who fits the situation? Or are you a totally dishonest person? Is taking risk your nature or you are always one who'd prefer a safer path. Identify who you are and what are your best qualities. Do not compare with others. It may be that you are best at doing house work. But the friend near you who is too popular in your workplace is some one different: think twice before emulating her blindly. Be yourself. And for that you have to know what are your best qualities. One of my friends is best in keeping quiet and that helps her in her life.

Continuous progress is an untold things that we always want. I said progress. Not change.

Let us believe that continous change is mandatory. You cannot stop it. But continous progress is what is under our control.

Progress continously. Follow your own values.

This world is a very funny place. You cannot ever say for sure what the world wants. But it is an easier task to decide what you want. Focus on few things at a time. (You may wish for hundreds of things!)

The following is a quote I had seen long back - repeating it - it is by Ralph Ellison, "Battle Royal"

 All  my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory. I was naïve. I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer. It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with: that I am nobody but myself.

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Most Significant Achievement?

Although some achievements like being the state topper in matriculation, or getting into one of the topmost engineering colleges, look significant to people close to me, I differ.

This takes me back to 1999 when the eastern coastal state of Orissa in India was ravaged by a super-cyclone (officially called Cyclone 05B). I volunteered to be with one of the teams doing relief work.

I call this as an achievement because I found myself working with the army, handing over food packets to people who were hungry enough to kill each other for a handful of rice - I found myself collecting floating corpses so that they could be burnt before deteriorating further - drove a jeep in knee-deep mud to rescue kids surrounded by flood waters - and could not forget the face of hunger and calamity plus a determination to survive for the joy of life. Strangely enough, I also witnessed the worst faces of humans when I saw things like robbery, bribery and rapes even in such dire situations - it metamorphosed me emotionally as well as intellectually.

It taught me how to look beyond categories of people, and showed me the core of life's existence. As I sit today in my office in an air-conditioned environment, I feel one with Mahatma Gandhi's description of  his experiences in the Red Cross camps of South Africa (1906). I learned to have a vision bigger than individualistic goals and to 'be' the change that I want to see. It taught me real leadership when a single decision can save as well as jeopardize lives. It brought out the real leader in me. Life teaches..

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Little Angels on Earth

(Repost)

Two and a half years have passed by since I was first in the campus of Ashraya and even now, when I go there every week, it seems to be a new experience. As I walked to the campus yesterday, I was wondering how quickly time moves. It was not the first time that I was in such a place but it was a very special experience to be with kids around you who are not just special but very talented as well. During the initial days, I was with a GE Volunteers team and had volunteered to teach these kids, mathematics, origami, and lots of fun-making activities. Most of the kids at Ashraya are normal from a physical point of view, but not so from the emotional point of view - I would term them para-normal! They are a bit more mature than their age, which varied between 3 to 13 years. Ashraya has a number of infant orphans as well but we were not interacting with them. This place was unlike the Helen Keller Institute at Vashi, Mumbai where was dealing with special kids with visual and hearing challenges. You need a different level of patience while interacting with these little angels.

They have a garden with swings, slides and see-saws to play with. I used to hold them in my arms and rotate fast - they enjoyed these rides and you should just see the expression on their faces. We were not supposed to take photographs, but over the years, I have taken snaps of the work done by the kids, such as in their coloring books. Last year, for Christmas, I got an idea which was quickly accepted by the other team members - we gifted them gifts which we helped them to make. Let me explain that a bit: We taught them how to make Santa Claus masks, cone caps with bells, and paper toys. Then few of them became Santa and all of them played a game where you have to sing for Santa and get your gifts! There were many sessions when we showed them animated movies - they loved Ice Age 2! They loved Winnie the Pooh so much that it took them no time to learn when I taught them how to draw and later paint, huge Winnie posters.

We have Rakum school for the blind at Indiranagar, Bangalore where I live. This is another place which I frequently visit since I have been in Bangalore. Initially, many of my visits were anonymous, and I felt good that I am able to contribute to the education of such special kids - they needed our time and understanding more than monetary contributions. As per Mr Rakum, there are many folks who contribute money, but the number of persons who contribtue their time is very less. It is a different kind of realization and an expansion of the awareness of your existence, when you are with these kids.

At Rourkela, I used to go to a place called 'Home and Hope', which was on the way to my school (Saint Paul's Rourkela). I used to observe these boys and girls, (I was of their age those days: this is around fifteen years ago) and was amazed at the patience of the caretakers in looking after mentally challenged kids. I continued interacting with these folks even after school, and during my engineering, I visited a similar school at Anushaktinagar, BARC Mumbai. I was gifted a Diwali card made by a mentally challenged 11 year old - you could find more beauty and imagination in the design than any other card you have seen and you will be perplexed when you meet the kid who created it. At 'Asha Niketan' in Koramangala, Bangalore, I met a 15 year old special boy, who asked me if I liked his drawings and would like to buy some. The bigger surprise came to me later when he shared, "I like A R Rahman's music - if you buy few of my drawings, I'll get enough money to get few more of his DVDs". I was dumbfounded to hear this and was really wondering whether he is mentally challenged or the rest of the world is - how come we ignore such talents in our day to day lives of mindless hurry.

Even after I got married, I continued my visits to Ashraya, Rakum School and the Spastics Society of Karnataka in Indiranagar, Bangalore. My significant half, Pallavi, is always with me in all such visits. It has been so many years that I have been visiting such places, and still everyday teaches me something new about life, something really novel. I have had very busy schedules in life, but I have tried not to miss these visits.

At GE India, and later at Mercedes Benz India, I organized some personal visits by volunteers who want to look beyond their problems in life and look at little angles struggling to make meaning out of their existence. We also organized a tree plantation program and 'Teach me Hindi' program for the kids. It was an emotional reconnection with their school days, for many of the volunteers. At times, we organized these events personally (not through the office) so that folks from various companies can join us - we had friends from SAP, Tesco, Yahoo India, HP India, and Infosys to name a few. For us, contributing our bit was closer to heart and meant much more than just logging hours for community service on the company portal.

Life teaches you a lot of things indirectly and it depends on our observation abilities, how much we learn from it. There is a unique humility that you develop with such events and it has a great effect on your management skills. You have a much wider outlook on life. We need to realize how fortunate we are, even in our deficiencies, and how we can still make a difference to brighten someone's smile someday. :-)

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H6 G-Sec

What do you do when your team member has done a blunder and you are forced to defend him? Or when you have to handle an unofficial beer party with official guests?

From the middle of the third year of engineering to that of the fourth year, it was a mix of many such experiences when I was the General Secretary of my hostel. Before I got elected as the General Secretary (G-Sec, as they say) I had no idea that I would be contesting for such a post ever in my life. H6 expands to 'Hall of Residence 6'. At NIT Rourkela, you had six 'Halls of Residence' for men and two for the ladies. (NIT stands for National Institute of Technology. There are around 17 such universities in India.)

I had my own share of friends and enemies during my college days. But I had this habit of being in touch, and knowing details about almost everybody on the campus, including the smaller folks like security guards or the cafeteria staff. Sanjay Dutt's Kaante was released the year before we stood for election. I remember the room-to-room campaigning, printing posters with catchy phrases, raising slogans in front of the university on improvement issues, late night partying, answering people through text messages during lecture hours, and still maintaining some level of performance in the academics - I do not know how it all fitted together. We used to sing 'Jaane kya hoga raama re' on the building corridoors in the middle of the nights! We were four folks who sat together to make a strategy that no one could break - we all were elected to the board of management of the hostel. We had a cultural secretary, a sports secretary, a kitchen secretary and myself as the general secretary. As for me, there was just one more candidate who stood against me in the election - we had a good handshake once I was announced as selected.

Life changed in many ways. We used a number of discussions, both public as well as within our group, to formulate plans for improvements in H6. After years, we were most punctual in organizing the 'Independence Day' celebrations. We organized groups discussions for folks who were preparing for MBA entrance exams. There were a lot of enthusiasm generated for team outings - it was fun to handle everything from logistics to entertainment to feedback.

Being a G-Sec exposed me to newer arenas. I was able to look at the working of an education institution and a residential building with around 200 inmates. I saw the various rules made ages ago and work to revamp them with more relevant ones. There was change all around in the air. There was a change in the menu of the cafeteria, and we put a feedback system in place for folks. There was a change in the visitors policy as well, and for the first time, we had female students visit the hostel - this was banned earlier due to some archaic laws. This change was motivated by what the public felt about themselves being mature students of an university which ranked third amongst all the NITs in India and stood first for branch-specific rankings.

There was also a change in the inmate categories in the hostel - let me explain that a bit. We had residents in H6 who mostly comprised of MCA and lateral entry students. MCA stands for Master in Computer Applications and the lateral entry students were the ones who joined in the second year of engineering after completing their technical diplomas. Apart from this, we had a number of students who were 'back logged', that is they could not complete a year's course in the given time. Unlike the other hostels, there was a lack of a proper mix of students from all branches and streams in the university. This was changed when we were in. We brought in an exchange between the inmates of the various hostels and ensured that the student profile was diversified and that we had more interaction amongst students of all streams.

The cafeteria menu included 'Pakhaala' for the first time in the history of the institute. Pakhaala is a special food made in Orissa during summers - it is made by soaking boiled rice in water, and adding salt and spices. NITs have students from all over India and this was an experience that all students from outside of the state of Orissa had for the first time in their lives, and they did love it during the scorching heat of the summers.

Almost every other day of our tenure, we had some issue flare up - it was not all that peaceful. As I mentioned in the very first sentence of this write-up, there was a quarrel between one of my team mates, the kitchen secretary and one of the cooks. The food was pathetic that day and the fellow ended up getting pinned against the wall and receiving boxing shots from the students. I had to interfere in between to stop this hungama and within few minutes, someone had informed the hostel warden. While I was trying to settle things in the kitchen itself, my mobile rang with the warden on the call.

One hour of drama and then a short-lived peace - the warden took stock of the situation and put a show-cause notice to the student, asking why he should not expel him. Being expelled meant that he will lose all of his engineering career and has to start over again - something he had not thought before hitting the cook. It also meant that there will be a police record of the situation, which meant a big blur on his career graph. I could not support him for what he did and could not let the warden ruin his career as well. It was a heated discussion for two hours after which he was pardoned on the condition that he will do social work for the university and never repeat such an act. (There were a string of clauses before he was let off, including public apology to the cook.) I also advised that the cook be shifted to the adjoining hostel and replaced by the other cook there.

Another time there was a public outcry when one of the inmates hit a girl on the road while riding a bike, and both of them were in the intensive care unit of the largest hospital in the city. It was a mad crowd at the hospital gates, with people shouting slogans against the students. Well, we handled it properly, with adequate medical attention to both the patients and adequate attention to the public as well. My friends helped me a lot when I was standing in front of the mob - I just didn't want to be 'mobbed' by them!

One new thing I understood was the profile of poor students on government scholarships - my signature was required before waiving of their hostel fees and I could understand the amount of struggle these folks put in to come from stark poverty and going to become future technocrats of the world. One of such persons is still in contact with me even after six years of these events and I know he works for one of the biggest MNCs of the globe. Being in NIT, where students from all states of India are proporta

My daily work also involved coordinating with the hostel staff, security fellows, maintenance guys, contractors and suppliers. It showed the aspects of society where bribing was a way of life and I was not at all for it. It also allowed me to educate such people on how they could leverage themselves without resorting to under-the-table methods. One of the best lessons I learned was about 'when to kiss and when to kick' people. There were, at times, trade offs between what I thought and what others thought.

This way, acceptability is another thing that I learned as a G-Sec. It is not always that your ideas get accepted, but if you believe in the idea, you should know how to put it forth. As they say in Deutsch 'Der Tone macht der Musik' - it is the tone that makes the music. Another part of acceptability is to be aware and agree to others' perspectives. Seriously there's some art to it.

Each of the lessons learned during this stint was helpful in some or the other aspect of my professional life later. I could relate a lot of the characteristics of human behavior that I had observed those days, to those of my colleagues and managers. It also instilled in me, an approach to look at the bigger picture during any decision making. Managing people and their attitude is an art. It also reduces the amount of unnecessary frustration that many freshers have, at their workplace. Multi-tasking and emotion management are amongst more more things that I learned. Till date, I have organized five team outings for my colleagues at various companies and each of them has been a memorable one. Life teaches.. !

It was a mix of good and learning stuff those days - During a Governing Body meeting, I remember talking with the warden of the ladies hostel when he mentioned a funny incident: There was this girl who left the ladies' hostel mentioning that she's going to the library, and the warden spotted her kissing her boyfriend under some tree. The warden scribbled on the security logbook, right next to the entry made by the girl '..... was found in 'love' and not in the library'!

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The Dancing Lady

"Hi!!!"

The loud chorus of children was sharp, as they got down from their bus. And the colors were beautiful. I like blue.

It was a cool morning and I just came out of the college building where I had been to appear for a national examination. The exam went well, and after that, I was delighted to see so many children.

The group that got down from the bus comprised mostly of girls. They must in the age group of 12-16 years, accompanied by a couple of teachers. They had come here to participate in a group dance performance.

They went in a queue, led by a well-dressed man. I asked the security guard nearby whether I could attend the children's show. He said it is a public show and that too a free one. People were welcome to donate if the willed too.

I went ahead and lodged myself in a right corner seat in the front row. The advantage in a corner seat in the front row is that you can see who is coming next on stage before others can know.

I was struck by one particular girl. Of course, she was the reason I thought of staying back and watching the show. There are three things I would like to tell you about this girl.

Firstly, she had a amazing personality. The way she carried herself, the way she talked to other friends, the way she listened and followed the teacher who was accompanying them was really something. She had a wonderful calm around her, and seemed to exude a great sense of confidence.

Secondly, the dance that she did after some time on stage was enthralling. It was a "Geeti-Natya", a song-drama, that was played in the form of a dance. The theme was about helping each other in order to have better results for the nation, and the world.

Forget about the theme, my eyes were hooked on the girl I spoke of. She must be sixteen. She was wearing a blue dress, with snow-white wings on her arms as she was enacting an angel. It so much suited her character! She had a white veil on her hair. It was amazing. Simply amazing. She danced with amazing gait and seemed to carry the whole show herself.

It was a half-an hour performance, but it did not seem so. The received a standing ovation after the performance.

The third thing that I wanted to mention about this girl was that, like all her group members in the dance, she was blind.

I cannot imagine the sharpness of the brain behind the little child's imagination, and the amount of hard-work that she must have done to achieve the perfection that she showed on stage. Her mobility was awesome.

Try doing a simple experiment. In your own house, just close your eyes and try dancing. You can try this when no one is at home so that people do not laugh at you, but it would be a good idea to have some friend nearby so that you don't hurt yourself by falling down. Dance as a blind and think how easy or difficult the act is.

Life is a surprising experience. A amazing tale of conviction and faith winning the last bites of misfortune and sorrow. Life is beautiful.

I was too speechless, over-awed, and choked by emotions to do anything but just keep looking. After the show, I talked to the teacher who accompanied them. I informed about my efforts at making a shoe-fitted navigation device for visually-impaired persons. And I informed about one of the members of National Blind Association with whom I have been in touch in order to make my product a better one. I asked him if I could talk to the girl that I mentioned.

Sadhana. I do not have a perfect English equivalent of the word that represented her and her name so aptly. Literally, Sadhana means penance. But it is much more.

I talked to her. I told her about a small chip that can be fitted in her shoes and that will guide her if their is any obstacle in her path. It may also learn specific dance steps and guide her to dance better.

"Bhaiya! Even without your chip, I can dance like anything!" was her innocent reply. "But please tell me for sure when the thing is ready. Do you have something I can put in my eyes so that I can see your face?"

She had her arms around me. And one of the 'bestest' smiles I have ever seen in my life.